Post 13 (8/27/14)

Hey there blog readers. Let me start with a quick apology. I know the gaps between this one and the last post were WAY too far apart. Over a month, Shane, really? Unacceptable, I know.

I don't really have any excuses for my slack posting. I've just been really wrapped up in school, kids, and the few other things I do for myself like podcasting.

My podcast is all about music (http://locallics.com) and this is a local band we've featured, Restrayned.

My time has definitely taken up primarily by the first two of that list. School has been hard to stay on top of this quarter for some reason, but it's my last quarter so I can power through and get it done. It saddens me a little that I feel like I've been working this hard for school and for what feels like for so long, and I'm only achieving an AA. It's more than many of my personal peers, but it still feels like so little.

But you guys don't read this blog to hear about my adventures as a student, at least, I don't think you do. I would assume you guys are reading this because of the title, which would imply that your reading this to hear about my adventures in parenthood. That being established, I'll try to refocus back on parenting in my world.

Look at these two. What a good, and goofy big sister.

The biggest event in my life lately, and it's been a bit of an ongoing event, has been the shift in sleeping issues. If you follow my post you'll know that not too long ago, we were struggling with keeping Bodie asleep. Well, that finally worked itself out, for the most part. Most nights that kid sleeps from 9 or 9:30 till 8 or 8:30, with an occasional wake up at 3 or 4 from time to time. These wake ups are almost always quick and painless, consisting of a short 4 ounce bottle and then right back to sleep. The shift has been that the older one, Cali, is now decided that going to bed is the worst thing we could ever ask her to do.

I swear, these kids have little meetings to decide who's turn it is to be a total nightmare. They definitely switched roles in the last week or so. Cali, on a good night, will go potty, brush her teeth, get her jammies on, and get into bed for a story, maybe a song, and then sleep. Lately, she drags her feet at almost every stage of the process. Sometimes she even flat starts yelling at us and telling us no. That really gets under my skin. Jess and I have been trying to take turns dealing with it, but some nights she will not do ANYTHING until Mommy comes in. Then, after we finally get her into bed, she runs through a whole series of questions or any little excuse to delay us leaving the room and her actually having to sleep. Usually, I would be inclined to let her get mad and scream and cry, when she pushes it that far, and not entertain her ridiculous requests, but more often than not her little brother is sleeping in the room next to hers.

We have found one little tool that seems to have helped on most nights, and most nap times. Every time she goes to bed without any fuss and is a good girl, when she wakes up, she gets to place a sticker of her choosing on a little calendar we got her. After she has obtained enough stickers, Jess or I will take her to the dollar store and let her select any item she wants, but only one item. This has worked pretty well, with only a couple of times being an issue.

This only held true till last night, and I'm really hoping last night was just a fluke. It was one of the most difficult nights we've had in a while, with it taking over an hour and a half to get her to actually go to sleep in the first place. Then she woke up a few hours later, around 1am. Jess had to work today so, naturally, I went down to try and get her back to sleep. Again, she insisted on having mommy, Jess came down, and eventually got her back to sleep. Then, at 5:30am, she was up and screaming for mommy AGAIN. This was now only about an hour before Jess needed to be up for work so I was determined to go down and get her to sleep. She was again insisting on seeing mommy only. This wasn't going to work this time. I eventually came to what I felt was a reasonable solution, in my sleep deprived mind anyway. I laid down in her bed next to her and stayed there till Jess woke up and left for work. About an hour and a half later, I went up to my bed. She then showed up in my room an hour after that.

Needless to say, I type this rather sleepy and rather annoyed. She did go down for her nap really well, so there is hope. I'll be sure to let you guys now how it goes and if anything changes. I'm also open to any suggestions.

Sweet dreams.

When  she sleeps, she's such a little angel.

Post 10 (6/27/14)

This last week has been a busy one. Well, to be totally fair, every week is busy when you've got a three year old and a 9 month old. This last week though, maybe even the last two weeks, have seemed more hectic than usual. Right off the top of my head, I can think of the two biggest factors for this. 

One is totally self-imposed. Being a full time student, I'm coming up on finals week and this quarter has been a particularly work-heavy quarter. So, I've been playing catch up with school work and trying to prepare for finals next week. Like I said, this is all self-imposed stressors. The other factor, not so much. 

This second added business wasn't really self-imposed but it was totally expected. Bodie, the 9 month old, finally got mobile. He has totally mastered crawling, even though it still frustrates him that he can't get walk. This kid, as predicted by his mother and me, is ALL OVER THE PLACE. He cannot resist out entertainment center, that's definitely his favorite spot to explore. Of course, this is the number one non-kid-friendly spot in the house. With the Xbox and cable box, as well as a couple of baskets for odds and ends (e.g. Wallets, stamps, sunglasses, headphones, etc.), this whole area is both irrisistably interesting to a child and inexpressibly off limits from the parents perspective. So, in order to combat this kids non-stop movement, I've developed a little kiddie corral built up between the couch, my chair, and the coffee table.

Now, I know this is only going to hold him in for now. Eventually the kid will figure out how easily he can crawl under the table or push any of those items out of the way, but for now this is working really well. And as you can see, his big sister likes to sit in there with him. 

 

Post 9 (6/15/14: Father's Day)

Hey you guys. Just a quick post for Father's Day. Let me start by saying thank you to all the dads, daddies, fathers, papas, and all the other names we call those men that sacrifice so much to try and encourage us to be positive and upstanding additions to society.

Thank you to all those dads out there that strive, either consciously or unconsciously, to show their sons what it means to be a man. Showing your sons to be honorable, honest, and also showing them how to treat women, leading by example every day.

Thank you fathers for showing your tenderness and compassion to your daughters. Showing them what to expect from men and showing them how they should be treated, both in how you treat them directly and how you treat the women in their life, (In case you didn't know, that's what you do with every interaction with females. You show your little girl how a man should treat them).

WARNING!! Here's the part where I may get a little controversial or where my opinion may turn some of you away. Bear with me to through this whole thing because I need to say this. This is Father's Day. This is not Single Mother's Day, and Mother's Day is not Single Father's Day. I may be alone in this, but I really get frustrated, and almost irritated every time someone wishes a single dad, "Happy Mother's Day" and single moms, "Happy Father's Day." Now, I'm not taking away from what they do. It blows me away at the work single parents do and I don't know if I could ever do it myself. BUT, this does not mean they the other parent. A mother is a mother and a father is a father. A man can never, no matter how hard he tries, have the same impact on a child as a mother. A woman can never have the same impact on a child as a father. These are things that are only uniquely filled by a person of that specific sex. This is not to say that a mother or father cannot raise amazingly well balanced and fantastic people all on their own. They can and do all the time. All I'm saying is that we need to stop giving credit for fathering done by mothers and mothering done by fathers. Yes, they are pulling double duty and yes, they are doing amazing things, but this day (and Mothers Day) are singled out specifically for Fathers (or Mothers on Mothers Day).

In fact, single parents do such an amazing thing and work so amazingly hard that they shouldn't have to share a day that already exists. They should have a day all to themselves. Oh wait, check this out
----> Single Parent's Day. Let us all give single parents a standing ovation and as much honor as we can bestow on them on March 21st. A day set aside just for them. Let's let the mothers and fathers have Mother's Day and Father's Day to themselves and focus all of our awe and honor on those amazing heroes raising kids on their own, on their day.

I am in constant awe and have the utmost respect for any and all parents doing everything they can to raise those precious little ones to be good people. Do not misunderstand what I'm saying here. Single parents work harder than any other parent in the world. All I'm saying is let the holidays be for who they are specifically intended. Mother's Day is for all and only the moms. Father's Day is for the all and only the dads. And Single Parent's Day is for all those moms and dads doing it all on their own (and that blows my mind).

And, since my last posting was devoid of any cuteness from my house, here are the two amazing creatures that make me strive to be the best man I can be.

Post 8 (6/3/14)

Hey there all you awesome followers of this little thing I call a blog. How have you guys been? Things are pretty good here. We've had a great couple of weeks here in the Dakan house. It's been a while since a post from me so I'm not sure what all has happened between now and then, but I'll try to recap some highlights.

First, we had a great Memorial Day weekend. The weather was fantastic and we were able to have Nana and Uncle Aaron over (the in-laws) for BBQ and pool time. Bodie had his first time in our pool, that was entertaining. The kid LOVES water. His bath time is his favorite, to the point that he gets irate when you take him out. The pool though, that was another story. He wanted to love it but he just couldn't get past the fact that it wasn't warm :) Now, don't get me wrong, the temperature was really comfortable and not cold at all, but compared to his baths, it was much colder than he was used to.

Cali, as always, had a great time in the pool. She's still really timid about getting out and "swimming" and every time we get in the pool, we have to encourage her all over again. It's almost as if she undoes the progress we made last time and we start from scratch. Luckily, she's getting big enough for Uncle Aaron, Jess' brother, to be more comfortable actually playing with her. He got in the pool, and Cali adores him so when he asked her to jump in for him and he would catch her, she did it with minimal hesitation. I was inside working on homework at this time so missed a lot of that. By the time I got out and into the water she was all excited and having a blast. She was even jumping off of the higher bricks towards the back of our pool. She was very excited and proud and couldn't wait for daddy to get in and catch her.

So that sums up the weekend of Memorial Day. I'm really sorry I don't have much more for you guys, I know my posts have been few and far between lately. The truth is, I'm falling behind in my school work and really struggling to find the time and, even more, the motivation, to get caught up. That being said, I have 2 more weeks of school left and then I'll be able to refocus my efforts for you guys. Jess and I have discussed things and it looks like I'll be taking a little time off from school as well. So hopefully that will lead to more regular posts and more focused content for you guys.

The other thing I would like to quickly add, I know it's a little lame there are no pictures for this one. This is the only time that will happen. I really wanted to get a post up for you guys so you knew I wasn't abandoning you all.

Okay everyone, one last thing, thanks for reading this and following me. If you guys are truly interested, please spread the word and let others know. I'll ask again when my content gets a little more often and regular but I'm thinking it can't hurt to ask :)


-Shane

Post 7 (5/9/14)

Well, here we are on the first Friday back. By back, I mean back on our regular schedule, back to real life. For those that don't know, last week the wife and I got to spend 3 days in Disneyland, kid free with great friends. We had so much fun and we're very grateful for the vacation.

The traditional Disneyland picture :)

None of it would have been possible without the love and support if our amazing family (including the kid's awesome babysitter, Jazz). It was definitely a team effort though. Let me break it down for you guys.

Ok, not my actual flow chart here, but you get the idea

 Wednesday, after she got off work, my sister showed up to spend the night with the kids. Cali loved it. She finally got a sleep-over with her Auntie Ninja. Then, Thursday morning, bright and early, Jazz showed with her son to play with the kids for the day. She was relieved Thursday evening by Nana (my wife's mom). Nana stayed Thursday night on through till Saturday morning. Saturday, Pappy (my dad) came to relieve Nana until Grandma Coffee (my mom) got off work. Grandma coffee cam straight from work, let Pappy head on home, and stayed with the munchkins until we got home Sunday evening. Phew. Did you guys follow all that?

On the other end, mommy and daddy were tearing it up at Disneyland and California Adventure.

The Incredibles (all 4 of us)

This was my wife's second trip ever, and my first in 23 years. So, we were both rookies full of excitement, and a little trepidatious about being able to keep up with our whole party. You see, we were there to celebrate our close friends birthday.

Birthday Girl

Her and her husband are Annual Pass holders who go to Disneyland probably 4-5 times a year. They have it down to a science. They know hours, they've mastered the Fast Pass, and Josh, the birthday girl's husband, has a map of both parks in his head. This turned out to work out to our advantage. We spent day one and two following along. In the first day we rode probably every major ride we could have wanted to. 

Day two was the birthday girl's actual birthday and we hit up even more rides. We also ate at The Blue Bayou, the restaurant inside of the Pirates Of The Caribbean ride. Dinner was great, the company was even better, and the day was exhausting ;) 

Day three was all for mommy and daddy to fly solo as much as we wanted. Seeing as we got most of the major rides and attractions dine the first two days, we were able to take our time meandering around and riding the rides we had left in the list. This consisted mostly of kiddie rides in Fairytale Town. It was cute and we had a blast. We shared almost every meal so we could get more foods in. It was like we were dating again and we had a blast.

Lovin life

Needless to say, after day three at the parks, we were completely worn out. We were both walking funny by the time we got back to the hotel. I was so grateful that all we would be doing the next day was sitting in the car and driving. 

There wasn't much recovery time. Monday, after we were home for a night, I had to dive right back into school. I'm now taking three classes online and had to spend almost all of Monday and Tuesday upstairs in my office. My poor wife had to spend her last two days off managing the kids solo the whole time. Wednesday through Friday are my days with the kids, and I think the trip has helped us a

all out immensely. The kids have been really good, I've been getting a lot of laundry and cleaning done, and we've all been in good moods the whole time. 

It's so great it be back home. We missed the kids so much. Such an odd mixture of feelings to have. We equally loved being without the kiddoes and missed them so much it hurts, all at the same time. We will probably do it again, one more time, before Cali is old enough to go (we've talked long and hard about it and for us and our kids, 5 years old is the earliest we want to take them).

I hope all of you are happy and healthy. I'll talk to you again soon :)

Post 4 (3/26/14)

Hey gang. How have you guys been? Things have been pretty great around here. Super busy, which might explain why it's been a couple weeks since I last posted, but otherwise great. 

What's new around here, you ask? Well, not much that would seem big to a lot of people, but to parents, the little things really matter. 

Our son, Bodie, just finished cutting his 4th tooth. It's pretty cute because the first one up top was way over to the side, almost his canine. He already had the two front, bottom teeth and this one on the side was so adorable every time he would give us a huge smile, which is quite often because he is so happy. I couldn't help calling him our little snaggle-tooth baby. So funny. 

Our daughter, Cali, is coming up in her 3rd birthday and it's starting to show. I'm not sure who coined the term, "Terrible Twos" but I'm pretty sure they didn't have kids. I think they were just trying to work on making something that sounded clever, or they just had rotten kids. I've confirmed this with most of the more experienced parents I know and respect, and threes are much more terrible than twos. The closer my daughter gets to three, the more I see what they're talking about. She's developed this ability to completely ignore her mother and me. She also has discovered the joy of screaming and hitting when we have to leave somewhere that she's been having fun. Right after she's pushed us past the point of tolerating it, she likes to look at us and her most dramatic, cheesy Disney live-action TV show style voice, say, "I'm so so so sorry, mommy/daddy." 

The hard part is, she's apologizing, and doing it usually without being prompted anymore which is great, so we feel like forgiving is the right response. She then thinks that means all is past and the world is happy. She's pushed my wife to the point where she just doesn't want to talk to Cali for a few minutes, wanting some peace and quiet for a minute. She then apologizes, my wife forgives her, and then she starts trying to chat up a storm with my wife. At what point do we expect her to understand that an apology, followed by forgiveness, doesn't actually change the mood instantly?

Well, I'm pretty sure that this is one of those things that you just have to be consistent, persistent, and patient. She'll eventually grasp the concepts, as she has with everything else. It's only difficult because she's so smart and grasps other things that we would never expect her to grasp. Stick around for further adventures of Ms. Cali and the lessons of life (for Dad). 

So,etching else I'd like to throw out there, mostly for you parents out there with multiple kids. How do you balance the attention you give each kid? I find, from time to time thoughout the day, that when I'm addressing an issue with the baby (as those are so hard to ignore) my daughter is beginning to act out in an effort to get my attention. I'm just curious what other parents do in these situations.